It's a night dark dark in San Francisco (probably) and a man is breaking into a large expensive business firm to steal a very expensive car from his (presumably) soon to be ex-married woman.

Why does this matter, I hear you ask? Because Our Heroine would like to accept some fourth dimension out of her busy day to talk to you nearly the sanctity of marriage, to wit: immature people just don't have it seriously any more.

*coughs* Elizabeth Taylor but *coughs*

This whole pep talk, is Jess'southward way of saying STORYTIME KIDS, I'M TAKING A WEEK OFF. It's fourth dimension to talk nigh Truman Calloway, aka this guy:

IMDB says this is Roebt Reed, aka Mike Brady. I say it's lying.

IMDB says this is Robert Reed, aka Mike Brady. I say information technology'southward lying.

As it so happens Truman is on the phone to the woman I mentioned earlier whose ex-husband fabricated off with her machine and (as it turns out) pushed it off a cliff. Oh, rich people problems. Truman advises her not to go to the police, instead contact her insurance company direct. He'southward actually in the center of a very important meeting with a new client, a man who wants to divorce his married woman (a Greenleaf of the Wisconsin Greenleafs for those playing along) only merely wants a lump sum of about 3-5 million, of which he'd requite Truman virtually 10%. Truman tells him he mispronouncing a tertiary, and says he's non sure he wants to take the case. It's a lot easier to put neglected wives on the stand than fortune-hunting embankment bums.

Meanwhile, the woman, Amy Sue, has taken Truman's communication and gone straight to her insurance company, where she sits in the office of the claims investigator and bawls her eyes out, much to the claims investigator'due south confusion.

Oh Dennis.

Oh Dennis.

Dennis promises to take a expect at the case, mainly to get the crying woman (who has confessed to only taking the machine in the divorce settlement to try and make her ex husband Ed not want the divorce whatsoever more) out of his role. He goes to accept a chat with Ed the car thief, who has a lot to say on the subject of divorce lawyers but agrees to write a cheque covering the cost of the car for his ex-wife. Task done.

Back at Truman's office, Truman is just ducking out for a lunch meeting when he bumps into his newest fiancee, Joyce, dorsum from an acting audition and demanding to talk. He tells her he is tardily for his lunch meeting so she hops into his limo while from up in the office, Truman's secretary Karen watches information technology all unfold. In the car, Joyce is unhappy about signing a pre-nup, merely Truman tells her information technology's the same pre-nup all his ex-wives get – ten grand a month and a million dollar insurance policy. All his ex-wives except his start one, Charmaine, who simply got 250 grand but Truman was poor then. Joyce thinks Truman doesn't love annihilation except his money, but Truman tells her he was in love, once, though he didn't know information technology at the time.

Common cold.

At lunch, Truman goes over the divorce settlement of a couple of actors with the lawyer for the husband, former cop Joe Briscoe. It'due south Joe's beginning big settlement and he'south concerned that Truman is trying to screw him out of a large payday. He tells Truman that if the settlement doesn't go through, he's coming for Truman. Truman is unconcerned, he's heard it all before.

"Not from me," says Joe, who storms off.

Before Truman can call for the bank check, a woman sits down in Joe'southward seat. It's his first ex-wife, Charmaine.

Still refuse to believe that's Mike Brady though

Even so reject to believe that'due south Mike Brady though

Charmaine tells him she'south been going to phone for some time, but it was too important. She needs to talk to Truman nigh Jason.

Later on that dark, a security guard patrolling Truman's law role sees an open door, goes to investigate and finds Truman on the floor stabbed to death.

There'due south a stupor.

The next forenoon, Dennis the menace is on his style to work when he hears news of the murder on the radio. At his office, his secretary Rhoda tells him Amy Sue is waiting for him in his office. Amy Sue is worried – Ed turned upwards drunkard at the house the previous night, telling her he withal loved her and that they only weren't together because of Truman Calloway and declares he is going to find Truman Calloway and kill him. Amy Sue called Ed at work that morn but the law had already been and arrested him and Dennis did say if there was anything he could do…

"Yes I did say that." Says Dennis, thoughtfully. "In an offhand sort of way."

Downwards at the police station, Lieutenant Catalano (previously seen hither) is outlining the case to a claims investigator from New York, Marcia McPhee (aka Kira from Star Trek Deep Space Nine). As Marcia leaves, Dennis' presence is appear to Catalano, who informs the desk-bound sergeant that he doesn't have time for insurance investigators and to tell Dennis to write him a letter of the alphabet.

Downstairs, Marcia bumps into Dennis who is delighted to run into her – Marcia assumes Dennis is at that place to paw himself in for a theft and is flabbergasted when he informs her that he's a claims investigator now (as part of his probation). He'due south keen to drill Marcia for data but she's not having a bar of it – though she does tell him that she doesn't think Ed killed Truman, her coin is on the first ex-wife Charmaine.

Dennis sees Ed, who tells him he did go and see Truman to punch his lights out but when he got in that location Truman was already dead, face down on the floor. He turned him over, which must have been when he got blood on his mitt merely he didn't kill him. He offers to sign the release form for the machine, just Dennis tells him that can look, and that Dennis is there at the request of Amy Sue who firmly believes in Ed'southward innocence and that it's a pity the way their marriage worked out.

Naww.

Dennis'due south next finish is Truman's law office, where he runs into Joe Briscoe coming out. Inside, Truman'due south secretarial assistant Karen is confused past Dennis's questions as she's only given all the information to Marcia McPhee. Dennis concocts a story about Marcia'due south purse being stolen and requiring a duplicate copy, and Karen sighs and starts compiling.

The old Stanton charm.

The old Stanton amuse.

Dennis puts Rhoda to work on trying to detect out who Truman had seen in the 48 hours prior to his death and returns to the eatery where Truman had lunch with Joe Briscoe. For the cost of 2 Andrew Jacksons, Dennis finds out from a waiter that Joe threatened Truman and that Charmaine had sat down to talk to Truman after Joe left. In an amazing coincidence, Charmaine is merely leaving the restaurant at that second, then Dennis turns the charm on once again helped by a pair of ladies gloves that he borrows from a passing table. The subterfuge doesn't work merely Charmaine does hold to have a coffee with Dennis, much to the annoyance of Marcia who is scoping them out from a telephone box nearby.

Later that night, Dennis arrives home to observe flashlights moving around in his office. He sneaks inside and catches the culprit.

e1 e2

CRYING. BEST LINE EVER.

CRYING. All-time LINE Always.

In the truthful spirit of generosity, Dennis tells Marcia what Charmaine'southward conversation with Truman was almost – her son, Jason, who needs money to go to medical school. Predictably, Truman shot that downward, and Charmaine claims that was the last time she e'er saw him. In the spirit of team work Dennis offers to squad up with Marcia, since they both have the same goal of proving Ed innocent only Marcia want's no office of that.

The next morning time Dennis is sitting downwards to breakfast when he gets a visit from Joe Briscoe, who is less than pleased that Dennis has been asking questions almost him. He tries to stand to Dennis who promptly takes his gun off him and wants to know why Joe went to see Truman's secretarial assistant Karen. It would seem that it was to try and poach clients, but every bit it turns out that Karen was Truman'southward between-wives girlfriend.

At work, Rhoda fills Dennis in on her investigations from the list. She's managed to rail everyone down except a 'Johnny Trixler' from Wisconsin, who met Truman to divorce his wife, the Greenleaf. Except there is no such person as Johnny Trixler or a family unit chosen Greenleaf.

I remember we all know where this is going. Cut to Charmaine's hotel room, where she gets an unexpected visit from her son Jason, aka Johnny Trixler who tells her they didn't demand Truman and so and they don't need him now. He just flew in from O'Hara an hour ago.

Armed with a re-create of Jason'due south photo, Dennis pays Jason and Charmaine a visit at the hotel and confirms that Karen identified Jason equally Johnny Trixler. Jason confesses to going to run across Truman but swears he didn't kill him. The police plough up and take both mother and son away for questioning, cheers to a tip-off from Marcia who considers the case closed.

A chance spotting of a newspaper article at piece of work sends Dennis on the right track. He goes to meet Karen the secretary, and tells her he can prove she was at work at the fourth dimension of the murder. In response, she reaches for her bag but Dennis steps in.

There's nothing that umbrella can't do

In that location's cypher that umbrella tin't practise

Oh dear.

Oh dear.

The classic tale. Karen got sick of beingness Truman'south matter on the side, and when he chose Joyce over her she took matters into her own easily.

Stay tuned tomorrow for Murder She Blogged Epic Tweetathon Part The Third: A Story To Die For. Follow the hashtag #MSBStory on Twitter and see what fresh nonsense I can come up upward with!

But I'll see you tomorrow first!

But I'll see y'all tomorrow first!